Using more mundane terms, we can say that disillusionment and dissatisfaction are caused by unreasonable expectations. We can end this feeling of dissatisfaction by abandoning those expectations.
My question is this: What causes these unreasonable, dissatisfying expectations?
III. Cessation
This, O Bhikkhus, is the Noble Truth of the Cessation of suffering: (it ceases with) the complete cessation of this thirst–a cessation which consists in the absence of every passion–with the abandoning of this thirst, with the doing away with it, with the deliverance from it, with the destruction of desire. (Vinaya Texts I, 95)
See also enlightenment.
~ From Buddhism A to Z
The third noble truth is that the cause of suffering can be ended. Our struggle to survive, our effort to prove ourselves and solidify our relationships is unnecessary. We, and the world, can get along quite comfortably without all our unnecessary posturing. We could just be a simple, direct and straight-forward person. We could form a simple relationship with our world, our coffee, spouse and friend. We do this by abandoning our expectations about how we think things should be.
~ Mike Butler again, Buddhanet’s An Introduction To Buddhism
Life is filled with suffering, but it is also filled with many wonders, like the blue sky, the sunshine, the eyes of a baby. To suffer is not enough. We must also be in touch with the wonders of life. They are within us and all around us, everywhere, any time. If we are not happy, if we are not peaceful, we cannot share peace and happiness with others, even those we love, those who live under the same roof. If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace. Do we need to make a special effort to enjoy the beauty of the blue sky? Do we have to practice to be able to enjoy it? No, we just enjoy it. Each second, each minute of our lives can be like this. Wherever we are, any time, we have the capacity to enjoy the sunshine, the presence of each other, even the sensation of our breathing. We don’t need to go to China to enjoy the blue sky. We don’t have to travel into the future to enjoy our breathing. We can be in touch with these things right now. It would be a pity if we are only aware of suffering.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh, from the opening chapter of Being Peace, published by Parallax Press
So, Life is Suffering – but not JUST Suffering.
Today’s task: have patience.
Think of Atticus Finch and remember to ‘put yourself in the other fellow’s shoes’.
So, anyhoo … Buddha’s First Noble Truth: Life is Suffering, which includes dissatisfaction, separation, anything …
Buddha’s Second Noble Truth: The second truth is that suffering is caused by craving and aversion. We will suffer if we expect other people to conform to our expectation, if we want others to like us, if we do not get something we want, etc. In other words, getting what you want does not guarantee happiness. Rather than constantly struggling to get what you want, try to modify your wanting. Wanting deprives us of contentment and happiness. A lifetime of wanting and craving, and especially the craving to continue to exist, creates a powerful energy which causes the individual to be born. So craving leads to physical suffering because it causes us to be reborn.
I think that originally came from that same Buddhist site listed below, but I honestly can’t remember. If I find the link, I’ll add it.
Another perspective on Buddha’s Second Noble Truth: The second noble truth is that suffering has a cause. We suffer because we are constantly struggling to survive. We are constantly trying to prove our existence. We may be extremely humble and self-deprecating, but even that is an attempt to define ourselves. We are defined by our humility. The harder we struggle to establish ourselves and our relationships, the more painful our experience becomes.
~ From Mike Butler at Buddhanet’s An Introduction To Buddhism
First Truth: Life is Suffering
Second Truth: Suffering is caused by Desire, Craving, Wanting, EGO … and unreasonable expectations.
All languages that derive from Latin form the word “compassion” by combining the prefix “with” (com-) and the root meaning “suffering” (Late Latin, passio). In other languages — Czech, Polish, German, and Swedish, for instance — this word is translated by a noun formed of an equivalent prefix combined with the word that means “feeling”.
In languages that derive from Latin, “compassion” means: we cannot look on coolly as others suffer; or, we sympathize with those who suffer. Another word with approximately the same meaning, “pity”, connotes a certain condescension towards the sufferer
In languages that form the word “compassion” not from the root “suffering” but from the root “feeling,” the word is used in approximately the same way … The secret strength of its etymology floods the word with another light and gives it a broader meaning: to have compassion (co-feeling) means not only to be able to live with the other’s misfortune but also to feel with him any emotion — joy, anxiety, happiness, pain. This kind of compassion therefore signifies the maximal capacity of affective imagination, the art of emotional telepathy. In the hierarchy of sentiments, then, it is supreme.
~ Milan Kundera, from The Unbearable Lightness of Being, published 1984 by Harper & Row.
So, what is the point? The point is this … accept that dissatisfaction exists. Once accepted, it is no longer an enemy to struggle against. Acceptance does not equate to ‘quitting life’. Acceptance frees us to change what we can change – no longer wasting life energy on what we can’t.
The Buddha said “Life is Suffering”, aka the First Noble Truth of ‘dukkha’. That is understood to mean not just physical suffering, but emotional suffering, psychological suffering. DISSATISFACTION is ’suffering’.
Resources for the Study of Buddhism
Birth is suffering; decay is suffering; illness is suffering; death is suffering. Presence of objects we hate is suffering; Separation from objects we love is suffering. Briefly, the fivefold clinging to existence is suffering.”
Suffering is the first of the Four Holy Truths. Shouldering the burden of existence on our ’self’ is suffering in a comprehensive and all-inclusive way that goes beyond our ordinary ideas about pain. The Sanskrit word duhkha originally meant the friction caused by turning a wheel on its axle. And so it is that there is a basic friction underlying all the activities of our lives. The lists explained below are an aid to understanding some of the important aspects of suffering as it is understood in the light of the Buddha’s teachings.
‘In this world everything is suffering, and even happiness is not real happiness, but is the cause of suffering. All the dharmas in this world are defiled and without purity; the world is all bitter suffering.’ (UW 87) “
The first truth is that life is suffering i.e., life includes pain, getting old, disease, and ultimately death. We also endure psychological suffering like loneliness frustration, fear, embarrassment, disappointment and anger. This is an irrefutable fact that cannot be denied. It is realistic rather than pessimistic because pessimism is expecting things to be bad. lnstead, Buddhism explains how suffering can be avoided and how we can be truly happy.
I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
– Mark Twain
